Date: 2018-02-25 14:23
We being together for 8 years and things were real good untile last year my ex s parents were to move to aus in September 7569 and ask us to come over for my ex 8767 s birthday for the month so we were really excited and lloved up and everything , when we git ov over we barley did anything he want to sit around looking on YouTube or doing what to do we didn 8767 t even anything for our *censored*ear anverssiry but got to babysit while he went off on bikes for his bday I just kind let pass because we were awa then his parent ask us to move over for the year and they had jobs set for we came back something change in him I know he was depressed missing them and the fun had their but I told will be back not worry he had lost his job aswel and I was only temparly working and we were in my dad 8767 s place to help save moneyjust shorten things down bit basic since we came back I was the one trying looking for and wavering money while just sat in the room wouldn 8767 t come out not talk to my dad or anythingso then his mom called and thought of an idea if he went over and worked first and paied mental get over and oblisy pay back when I get over so the was grand like he was still all love and etc into me But plans got change he had to move tso months ago to help out his nann that was sick and he told me don 8767 t worry I 8767 ll keep in contact and rember I love you and that were still going so I went to see like the odd week or when I could go up and it was great he seem so in love with me he couldn 8767 t stop holding me he call and me when I got back home nowthis change we hadn 8767 t seen each other for three weeks and I always asked him if he defiantly sure he wants me and he say yes of course I do that I would tell just don 8767 t like play me :L and he was one telling the plan and how we 8767 re getting over and how we 8767 re going have a great life together but two weeks ago I had talk to him on the phone he seem so happy to be talking me and mention to me about the visa etc and couldn 8767 t wait to see me the a few days later I hadn 8767 t heard from him so I text him to check up he rang me in the most angry tone I said hello cause of bad recepsion and he yelled at me 8775 if you 8767 re going so angrey I 8767 ll hang up the phone 8776 and wasn 8767 t angry at all and I was asking what 8767 s wrong what happend and wouldn 8767 t say so I ask I 8767 m I still going with you and said yes he said I love you talk to you in the morrowing but I rang an hour later to make sure he was ok that could to me and told doing the visa today like we were lament to and he said what ever you want and I said whatdo you mean and he went to were going get along or will be unhappy that we fight all the time whicht don 8767 t and blah blah but he was like I always love that do want to be you and miss you but we wouldn 8767 t work over their and I said why are you saying this why would you wait tile now to tell when going to go he had told not join to Collge course or other thing s because Will over their so I hadn 8767 t got real reason why and it was over the phone he couldn 8767 t even say we were over so I 8767 m ment to meet him I 8767 m Friday and figure what the happend why did he lead me on this far I was devastated that have broken up I 8767 m confused my world up side I and I really love him I came a place to stay while his family went of I put the effort in now ihave to now try out a new plan while he house over liveing the life btw he gets everything handed to him So what now
My boyfriend admitted he was flirting with other girls on FB, girls from his old HS. We haven 8767 t been connecting as much as before so he said maybe he flirted because of that. He told me because i confronted him about a comment he made on a girls wall. I noticed he called one of them wifey, he asked that one girl to 8775 kick it 8776 when he found out she lived literately down the street. Today i asked him if he has ever met with any of them, how he flirted, how far did he go with the genuinely trust he will give me an honest response. He said he never met with any of them and he never flirted with the intentions to cheat on me, physically nor emotionally. We been together for a *censored* over a year. Ever since he admitted he flirted like 8 weeks ago, i been asking questions to clarify the situation here and there (like 8 times ives asked at most this past weeks). I want to move forward but i want closure regarding this situation he told me today after asking him a question regarding the flirting n he said 8775 i am so annoyed you keep bringing this up again and again, im trying to move forward 8776 he continued by saying 8775 i rather watch football and study then talk about this issue 8776 . I admit i dont trust him the way i used to, im the kind of person that doesnt trust people off the batt and when i do, i do it blindly, i trusted him blindly, i have never thought he would ever give me a reason to think he would be capable of cheating, but after he admitted to flirting only because i confronted him, now i do not have the same trust. Just this week he liked a girls picture, a girl that is one of many girls he flirted with, he makes me feel like he still flirting. I know he thinks his trying to fix the situation although he hasn 8767 t done much, his just being his old self, but liking a pic of a girl he flirted with is a dumb move. I told him it bothered me and he got bothered that it bothered me that much. Until i explained in detail why it did. I feel like he thinks because he apologized about the flirting that i shoudn 8767 t bring anything about it up again. I have questions that i feel need answer to close the issue and move forward but he cant seem to answer them without getting bothered..he thinks because he can move forward then i should to just like him. He is the one that flirted and im the one trying really hard to trust him and yet it seems things should be on his terms and i should be moving on at the same pace he is. Doesnt he realize is not that easy? what should i do?? Am i over thinking (which is what he likes saying i do a lot) and maybe i should just drop it? although i still have questions that leave me with doubts?
I have assumed she knew we were just “hooking up” on a regular basis with no strings attached. HA! Her fault, bitch needs to make clear what she wants or refuse to fuck without commitment.
I have stared way too long, not caring if she catches me checking her out. Shit, this is how I found out how girls actually like to be treated. Freshman year at a party, me drunk, girls sitting nearby. All of the sudden, 8775 Hey are you STARING at my friends ass! 8776 with a super irritated look on her face. Me, 8775 Um, I a, um, well I would say that I 8767 m sorry but that would be a lie. 8776 I totally expected to get slapped. INSTEAD, I had three new best friends.
I have gone ahead with sex without having the time or inner sensing to see if that is what I actually wanted. what the fuck? Seriously WTF?
I have ghosted someone after hooking up a few times. Maybe, don 8767 t know, don 8767 t care.
I have assumed consent once is consent always. uh, nope. That 8767 s just silly. Clearly just because I was fucking you in high *censored* does not mean you want to fuck me now that I 8767 m in my 85 8767 s.
I’ve used intoxication as an excuse for “coming on strong.” my intoxication or hers? Quite honestly, I 8767 ve been *censored*d by a lot of girls while I was drunk.
I have emotionally hurt women I’ve cared about through sex. What? What does this even mean. I 8767 ve emotionally hurt girls through frogs, through talking, through not talking, through doing some thing innocuous, through not doing something, through staring at another girl, through not staring her while I was driving, through changing the radio station. Females will cry literally over anything. ANYTHING! And you know what I 8767 ve learned over the years is the most painful thing to a female. Rejection. I 8767 ve never had any females more angry at me than the ones I 8767 ve turned down for sex. That 8767 s another lesson I learned in college. Even the nicest girls would rather you try to go too far, so they can rebuff you (or not), than they would have you not try to kiss, them, touch them, fuck them. Nothing is more painful than a guy they like having no interest in them. And nothing is more disgusting to them than finding out a guy they like doesn 8767 t have the balls to try anything.
I have leaned heavily on the emotional labor of woman to teach me how to be a better man to them. I have leaned heavily on other men to teach me how to be a man. I literally cannot think of one smidgen of good advice that was ever given to me by a girl. This includes my mom Wait a minute, mom did tell me nice girls are better than pretty girls. Of course, she had the complete wrong definition of a nice girl.
I have tolerated “locker room talk.” um, fuck yeah. I 8767 m not going to police other dudes language in the locker room. I do want to have some friends in the world. I mean, who is going to police what girls chat about when the guys aren 8767 t around. Have you guys heard the shit that comes of female mouths? Anyone whom thinks their 8775 locker room 8776 talk is better is living in a fantasty land.
I have tolerated cat-calling by my friends. um, don 8767 t care. I don 8767 t really ever hear this, but still, dgaf.
I have wielded my “power-over” in many ways to get what I want. mainly I use invisibility and the huge bulge in my pants. Of course, this doesn 8767 t work when used at the same time, and they 8767 re pissed when they find out later it was a banana.
I’m not a bad man, I 8767 ve just woken up in whore culture.
I 8767 m going to make one statement about all the sentences you wrote prior to your questions and then I 8767 ll move to the questions. I want to make it clear that, I 8767 m not looking to be dismissive of what you said by saying this, but what I want to comment on is that, all of those events/actions are frozen in history and will never change. They will never be 8775 fixed 8776 because they aren 8767 t 8775 broken 8776 they just 8775 occurred 8776 and you (and he) will need to 8775 accept 8776 that and decide for yourselves what impact those events have on you moving forward.
8775 What I want to know is how can I get him to want to commit and to be honest with me? 8776
The short: You can 8767 t. You cannot make people do something they do not want to and you cannot make them change if they do not want to or are not ready to. I truly feel this now. You can try techniques and tactics that are suggested to attempt to draw out your partners true feelings.. but you cannot MAKE them feel something they don 8767 t and you will need to accept the results if you try that, so I don 8767 t necessarily advise it.. also, I 8767 ve 8775 experimented 8776 with drawing out feelings from women before and it 8767 s not a good idea. Things 8775 happening naturally 8776 is the way, always, I feel. Maybe he 8767 s not ready. Maybe he can 8767 t afford a ring. Maybe he doesn 8767 t know where/how he wants to ask you. Maybe, he wants to propose to you 8775 because he decided to 8776 (a man made a decision) not because you pressured him (a man hates being told what to do, that 8767 s why married men complain about 8775 nagging wives 8776 and why alot of wives complain their husbands never listen, because alot of men will refuse to do what she 8775 wants 8776 him to do because he thinks 8775 hey! she 8767 s not the boss of me! 8776 , especially after 8+ hours of his boss telling him what to do, the last thing he wants is to leave work and hear someone else tell him what to do. Maybe he 8767 s looking for some sort of 8775 evidence 8776 that by 8775 going all in 8776 , so to speak, that he 8767 s making the right choice.. not because you are not the right choice, but, essentially, he might be wanting to consider if he 8767 s truly ready to become 8775 off the market 8776 .. for good.. personally, I feel, where I am in my life now, that if he 8767 s unsure, then it 8767 s not right.., but that 8767 s just me, now.. I 8767 m human)
Please I need some perspectives because I 8767 m very confused, this is gonna be very large. I met this boy at party, he seemed very interested and asked for my number a lot of times during the party at the end I decided to give him my phone number because he was so nice and thought he deverved an oportunity. The next day he texted asking If I was being serious about meeting again ( we were drunk during the whole party) I answered 8775 Yeah, why not 8776 so he asked me during the week where and when we 8767 d meet. We had our first ¿date? I honestly don 8767 t even know So we met to drink some beer and have dinner and It was really amazing, we talked about many things including personal and deep conversations. I learned a lot about him and I dicovered he was a a much more interesting person than he seemed previously. Just right after he drove me home he texted me he had a great time and thanked me for it. During the next week he texted me suggesting some plans for the weekend and that he felt like to see me. But he suddenly stopped texting during a day and a half, then on the same friday he invited me at his home and watch a movie though It was late I accepted and he picked me up. He knew I recently had lost a close family member so I was a bit depressed, he even commented it I don 8767 t if my sad mood made him awkward or something. We have a nice time at least in my opinion but he didn 8767 t try to kiss me or cuddle even though we were in his bedroom sitting really close on his bed. During the way back I was quiet and I felt unsecure about tI his 8775 date 8776 . I texted him the next day telling him that I had a nice time and that I enjoyed his company and he answered somthing like 8775 Are you serious? :O, well that is mutual 8776 then I asked him when will we meet again and he replied 8775 whenever you want 8776 . On monday of the next week he texted me saying he wanted to see me which I answered that I did so. We texted some casual messages. In the middle of that week I asked for his exam ( we had troubles to meet that friday because he was busy with that exam). He replied and asked me how was I doing. But then the weekend arrived and he dissapeared during three day of four I guess he ghosted. I got really upset when I saw him on Facebook with a lot of girls from pictures of parties. Then when decided to forget him and move on he texted me again after that weekend only saying something like 8775 Hey pretty 8776 I ignored him. Then in the middle of the week he texted again: 8775 Hey Lucía will I see you on the weekend, I want to see you so much 8776 . I didn 8767 t know what to do. On Friday I replied 8775 I won 8767 t meet you unless you have a great plan 8776 , he read it but didn 8767 t reply until the next day I didn 8767 t even expected him to reply this: 8775 Sounds like you didn 8767 t want to see me XD 8776 , i texted back 8776 I think I could say the same for you 8776 then he sent a lot of messages saying he texted me but I didn 8767 t reply him and blahblah. Then told him It is not a good idea to see each other and that 8767 s all. He asked for explanation and I told him this: 8775 I like your company, you are really nice but I want something more serious, and I think we aren 8767 t looking for the same thing because you seem to want just to be a friend 8776 and he replied that he had no idea I wanted something with him and asked what did I see in him and that he wanted just to hang out as 8775 only friends 8776 wasn 8767 t fully true. Then I got scared and I closed myself telling him Whatsapp is not the right way to talk about that and that wasn 8767 t the right moment eather. Then he asked when we will see and I answered 8775 Not today 8776 and I finished texting me back 8775 Okei, you tell me when 8776 . And that 8767 s all I 8767 m confused and frustrated. Does this guy understand me?, I think he is not being serious. I don 8767 t know If I should text him to meet and talk or just wait for him to initiate contact. What do I do? Is he making fun of me? I don 8767 t want to waste my time. He 8767 s the kind of energetic, restless and happy boy as opossed to me I 8767 m much more laid back and quiet. This is not my mother tongue I hope you understand the whole text.
Sorry for bad English since it 8767 s not my mother language.
So this one happened to me as well. We had been dating for 7 months. And I really wished that this could work out well. Since the very first day, I already knew it 8767 s gonna be hard since he 8767 s almost 75 years older than me. He 8767 s that friendly Canadian and I 8767 m just a shy Asian girl. Right now we 8767 re both not living in our country. I 8767 m gonna go back to my country in 7 months while he decided to stay. We already talked about this from our first date, he 8767 s gonna live where I live, and that 8767 s the sweetest thing ever. We met at work. He 8767 s that tall and dark and charismatic and funny and sweet guy that everyone loved. My look is also not bad as well, I have a lot of guys chase me, but I fell in love with him. Then we decided to start dating. In the first month it was really sweet and smooth, it 8767 s been a long time since I felt like I 8767 m loved. I was so in love that I couldn 8767 t see his flaw. For me, he is perfect.
Then suddenly after one month of dating, everything was just falling apart. No more calls, no more late night texts, no more 8766 let 8767 s go eat 8767 in the middle of the night. And lately I noticed that he was always in bad mood every time I met him. It was always because something happened at work or about his family and everything like that, and I always tried my best to cheer him up. Even when I was in bad mood, I never told him, because I don 8767 t want things to get worst if both of us was in bad mood.
Long story short, the last message that I sent to him was 8775 Hey, how 8767 s work? 8776
He doesn 8767 t reply. Until now.
It 8767 s just like Poof. He 8767 s gone.
No explanation. No goodbye. Nothing.
I called him like 8 or 9 times everyday for about 5 days, he didn 8767 t answer. I sent him a long chat, asking him if he was alright, but he didn 8767 t even open the chat.
I tried to be cool and not to annoy him, but I lose my control for days and I did what I did. Because I just need some explanations about what happened, I just need him to clarify if we were okay or not. I need answers. It 8767 s gonna be better if he said to my face 8775 we 8767 re done 8776 than nothing at all.
The worst thing that happened is I started to blame myself. I thought if I didn 8767 t do this, he wouldn 8767 t be like this. If I did that, he would never leave me.
And I questioned myself a lot if I wasn 8767 t good enough for him, if I ever did something wrong to him, if I wasn 8767 t pretty enough compare to another girls.
This is really bad because I started to lose my self-confidence, I become more and more insecure.
In the end, I know it 8767 s gonna be hard at first. I don 8767 t even know what will happen if he wanted to come back. I 8767 d probably be stupid and let him just go back to my life. But for now, I just let myself cry and time will heal.
I keep thinking to myself:
If he loved me enough, he wouldn 8767 t let me go. But he did.
You don 8767 t want to grow old with someone that doesn 8767 t love you, do you?
For weeks, I heard nothing from him but exactly the 76st day of my starting No Contact, he texted to ask in his words, 8776 Tell me What you want from a Political Corrections Really? 8776 . Hmmmm , I felt probably he was open to making 8766 this thing 8767 he had going work but it took me a week to reply that I wanted, 8776 A man who Respect and Treat me exactly how he would want his sister or daughter to be treated 8776 .
To this, he replied, I totally agree and do you think we just got off on the wrong foot? 8776 I answered, I don 8767 t know.
That was it . He didn 8767 t pursue the discussion and so the next day, I sent a text asking what he really wanted. He replied, 8776 Settling Down together 8776 . To this, I laughed and said, No I meant seriously and don 8767 t dodge the question. He came to say obviously we can 8767 t communicate. At this point, I felt like a *censored* being given an empty promise just to keep me quiet so I told him, 8776 it 8767 s hard to communicate in Text messages and some things were better said in person. Did he offer to meet. No!!!! The conversation was left at that but still pondering about it, later that evening, I texted him to ask if he was married and he was like No and we kind of joked about it. However, he has 8766 vanished 8767 again cause it 8767 s been 9 days since so heard from him!!!
Sorry, this is long but I have never ever had a guy pull a 8766 Houndini 8767 on me. and yes, it does put a dent on one 8767 s self esteem. However, how much a dent depends on how much you let it ! Does it hurt. Of course it does!!! You wonder why would someone deliberately send mixed signals . Even offering to go on holiday with you after only two days of chatting online!!!
Why contact me after 8 weeks only to fade out ???? Well, I guess to check if I still have the hots for him!
Initially, I felt what Is It about me what wasn 8767 t Enough for him. Am quite stunning, educated, with a good job and great conversation skills!!! *censored*
The truth is .. It is Not about me . It 8767 s All about him testing the waters on each 8766 option 8767 he has met online! I have decided no matter how much the rejection hurts. No one reserves the right to have a 8766 foot 8767 in the door of my life. You are either in or out! My feelings are hurt but I will not make a Priority, anyone who has made me just an Option.
I can relate to most of you. I 8767 m really not sure yet what to think of my situation. I 8767 ll explain it. Ive been dating this guy for 9 months. He was a frequent customer at my job and I saw him often but we never really spoke. We would have small talk every once in awhile like people do when passing each other but nothing significant. This went on for about a year of seeing him at my place of business at least 7 to 8 times a week. Then last June he finally got up the nerve and asked me out to dinner. We were pretty much inseperable since then. We had our jobs and other obligations but in our free time we were always together, either at his place or mine. Around the six month mark I realized I was falling for him and that I actually loved him. Greatest guy, very sweet and very respectable. The only problem I had with him was that he never like to stay the night with me, or stay the night with him. We did a few times but it was a big hassle for him because he is a light sleeper. I was hurt about this and he could see that so he on occasion would stay the night just to make me happy even if it meant he wasn 8767 t getting any sleep. I came to realize it was a big problem for him so I stopped expecting him to do the sleepover thing. It bothered me a lot but I got use to it. Yes we were imitate all the time but he would always go home or I after the night was over. I felt a *censored* cheap doing it this way but the guy was a light sleeper and him being a self-employed landscaper required him to get a good nights rest so I left the situation alone. I finally got up the nerve to tell him I love him at around the 6 month mark I was sort of expecting a I love you too back because through his actions it felt like he did. He couldn 8767 t say it back when I told him. I was crushed. I actually got a *censored* hot under the collar about it which I shouldn 8767 t have. I said if you don 8767 t want to say it back thats fine, I guess you don 8767 t love me or you would say it. He replied, how do you know??? I said, well because you won 8767 t say it back! He really didnt say anything about that and the subject was changed. Then here we are at the ninth month mark. Its spring time and he told me he would be pretty busy since this was his busiest season. I was fine with that I wasn 8767 t expecting us to be able to hang out all the time like we did in the fall and winter time. What I was not expecting was for him to go complete NC. I let a week go by without him contacting me and I started to feel confused. I mean come on, thou can 8767 t even call me? I know he is busy, but too busy to call me for 5 minutes. I would even take a once a week call, but to no prevail. i finally broke down and told him that the no contact was unacceptable and didnt make any sense to me. He said, listen, I haven 8767 t forgotten about you Im just really busy. I know you don 8767 t like this but its the way it has to be after the spring and I get most of my work done things will be different. I said I find it hard to believe any woman finding this acceptable and he said listen..trust me Ive been through this before (with his past girlfriends) and they reacted the same way. He got a *censored* frustrated and said this is why I don 8767 t have girlfriends, just because of this situation that they always take off when he gets too busy in the spring time. I don 8767 t think me or any of these women have a problem with him being busy its the cold he blows while being busy no calls no text. I asked him why he can 8767 t even call me. He really didnt say anything except for me to try to understand, that he had a bad winter and his financies were all screwed up and he needed some time to get back on top of his game again. Of course I was incredibley hurt. He was so loving and attentive to absolutely no contact at all what so ever. I did call him once and he did call me back and was very nice and talkative. Told me about his work issues and finances he needs to fix. I called him the following week and no answer. So I texted him and asked him how he was doing since i haven 8767 t heard from him in awhile. He texted back saying Hi, Im headed to bed now. I texted him last week and he did text back saying he is working hard and busy. Ive decided to not contact him anymore, let him come to me. Im taking it he needs space and to catch up on his finances and his work. But I just don 8767 t understand the no contact thing. I know men sometimes need space for themselves to be men. I know towards the end of winter he was having a hard time financially and it really bothered him as far as having the means to take me out and buy me things, which I never once asked for anything and I never got upset if we never went out, I was happy just having dinner at my place or mine and watching movies. Im financially independent and I own my own home, my car is paid off. He on the other hand is no were near these establishments. He did mention to me that it bothers him at his age (of 98) he hasn 8767 t reached the milstones all his friends has reached or what i have reached. I have never judged him for anything, I just enjoyed being with him and I love him. He has yet to say I love you back. The only thing he would say is that he has feelings for me. I did sort of screw up and tried to have the talk with him a week before the spring hit. Like where is this going conversation? Of course he really didnt have much to say about it, said he just got off work and was tired and didnt need the drama, he actually said it in a nice way! Anyways..its going on three weeks and no contact despite me initating text and me calling twice and he only answered the first one. I know he is going through a lot of issues right now but just don 8767 t know what to think of this. I feel like he is off in his cave. Im not ready to label him a jerk and walk away. He said he is use to women walking away when he gets like this so maybe he is expecting the same from me, I don 8767 t know. All I can do is just lay low and see if he reaches out to me. I miss him and what we had together but Im trying to give him his space right now. I just hope Im not being a fool waiting by to see what happens. What do you guys think??